If you’ve led people for any length of time, you’ve likely noticed this:
Two individuals can experience the exact same situation… and walk away with completely different interpretations.
- One sees opportunity.
- The other sees threat.
- One leans in.
- The other shuts down.
What’s driving the difference?
It’s not the situation.
It’s the story.
The Invisible Layer of Leadership
Every leader—and every team—operates inside a set of internal narratives. These stories are often formed long before the current moment:
- Past successes or failures
- Early career experiences
- Organizational culture (past or present)
- Feedback that stuck a little too hard
- Unspoken norms about “how things work around here”
Over time, these stories harden into beliefs. And those beliefs begin to shape behavior.
You’ll hear them if you listen closely:
- “That’s just how leadership is here.”
- “There’s no point in pushing back.”
- “If I don’t do it myself, it won’t get done right.”
- “They don’t really value my input anyway.”
These aren’t facts.
They’re interpretations that have gone unquestioned.
And once they take hold, they quietly start running the show.
How Stories Show Up on Teams
Rarely do people walk into a meeting and announce their internal narrative.
Instead, stories show up indirectly:
- In hesitation or over-control
- In conflict avoidance or unnecessary escalation
- In disengagement masked as “busyness”
- In misalignment that keeps resurfacing
As a leader, it’s easy to focus on the behavior.
But behavior is almost always downstream of belief.
If you try to fix the behavior without addressing the story underneath, you’ll find yourself having the same conversation… over and over again.
A Simple Way to Surface the Story
You don’t need a complex framework to begin uncovering what’s really going on.
You just need better questions.
When something feels off on your team, try this:
“What story might be shaping how we’re seeing this situation right now?”
Or, one-on-one:
“What are you telling yourself about this?”
“What feels at risk for you here?”
“What would have to be true for that belief to make sense?”
These questions do something subtle but powerful—they separate the person from the story.
And once a story is visible, it becomes workable.
The Leader’s Responsibility
Here’s the part that often gets missed:
You’re not just navigating your team’s stories.
You’re bringing your own into the room.
Your assumptions about people.
Your interpretations of silence.
Your beliefs about what good leadership looks like.
They all shape how you respond.
So before you try to shift your team’s narrative, it’s worth asking:
- Where might I be making this mean something it doesn’t?
- What story am I holding about this person or situation?
- How might that be influencing how I’m showing up?
Leadership isn’t about having the “right” story.
It’s about being aware that you’re in one.
Shifting the Narrative
Once a story is identified, the goal isn’t to force a positive spin or ignore reality.
It’s to create choice.
- “Is this story helping us or limiting us?”
- “What else could be true here?”
- “If we approached this from a place of possibility, what would change?”
Even a small shift in narrative can create a meaningful shift in behavior.
And over time, those shifts compound into culture.
The Opportunity
Every team has stories.
Some create trust, ownership, and forward momentum.
Others quietly reinforce fear, protection, and disconnection.
The work of leadership is not to eliminate stories.
It’s to surface them… examine them… and consciously choose the ones worth keeping.
Because in the end, culture isn’t built on strategy alone.
It’s built on the stories people believe about themselves, each other, and what’s possible.